the politeness of melee weapons.

If it were again socially acceptable to carry the melee weapon of one's choice, we feel the level of condescension in dialogues would quickly evaporate.

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While a mostly happy bookstore fixture for over two decades, Guillermo Maytorena IV is currently willing to entertain your serious proposals for employment as a literary/cinema critic, goth journalist, castellan, airship pilot/crewperson, investigative mythologist, or assisting in a craft brewery. Should you be connected to any of the above or equally interesting endeavours, do contact him.

NorsePlay: I invented the warhammer clamp.

In the Norse Lore, Thor has the convenience of a warhammer which, thanks to dwarven craftsmanship, reduces in size to fit in his pocket or be worn as a pendant (yes, anyone wearing a Mjölnir necklace could be that Odinson among us, so watch yourself). Yet, short of some atomic-chain matter folding nano-technology, bearing a warhammer for the rest of us tends to be rather cumbersome.

Many have stated that necessity is the mother of invention, or argued that war is the father of innovation. The medieval warhammer was invented as an anti-armor weapon, something that crushes & claws into plate steel. Aside from keeping this weapon in hand, or tucking it into your belt, there historically was no other easier method of carry. But why hadn't those knights & soldiers who'd worn a scabbard or quiver on their backs thought of something similar for their warhammer?



Five-hundred years later, Guillermo the IVth finally invents the warhammer clamp, adding his name to the Valhalla-worthy warriors of melee weaponry's historical innovations.

[The warhammer in clamp! And me in my wedding tunic!]

[Grabbing the haft for draw.]

[Drawing the warhammer.]

[Swinging over-the-shoulder for the strike!]

Mark that game changer on your calendars.



It started as a going-to-sleep exercise. I'd lie there and think of how exactly one could wear a warhammer on their back for a quick over-the-shoulder draw, and also be able to snap it back in place once done pounding your attacker into submission. Sometimes I'd slip into a dream thinking about it. Other nights, the mental exercise would cause my eyes to snap open, and instead I'd run for my desk to draft something out. As a writer, you learn that if you don't put an idea down when it comes, you will lose it, and I applied that preserving sensibility to this process.

[Warhammer dimensions.]

My awesome high finish warhammer from +Sabersmith Inc has a hammered/scalloped haft, which is advantageous for grip, but presented a challenge for a clamp. The first two PVC pipes I dremeled into what would've been working shapes for a standard smooth handle finally worked on my third attempt, which had higher ends for holding an irregular surface, a scoop in the middle for flexibility to allow for a draw, and curved outsides to prevent scratches & not get caught when the hammer was drawn/replaced.

I then drilled & mounted the clamp onto a T-shaped plastic sheet reclaimed from two pieces of old computer keyboard that I Gorilla Glue'd together.

The next problem was the width of the head versus the smaller diameter of the handle while mounted. I'd thought the plastic backing would just flex and curve down for the wider head when clamped, but no, it required immersion in boiling water to soften and reshape into a specifically angled spatula to allow for the warhammer's head. (Thanks to my prop-making friend +Tory Middlebrooks for this helpful tip.)

[Note the finished spatula shape, and the judicious use of Gorilla Glue between the layers, which requires some restraint & predictive skills as it expands to four times its volume when dry.]

With the hardware of it crafted, I then had to learn some basic sewing (since I took Spanish in both junior high & high school and not Home Ec.). Making a pattern, acquiring a yard of nice faux leather upholstery, and some high gauge waxed thread, I cut a front, back, and baldric loop. The front pleather required some careful assessing of how wide to make the slot to slip over the clamp portion. Before the first part of the stitching, I used Gorilla Glue to seal the edges of the loop. Using a ruler & a white gel pen, I then measured & marked the holes, punched them with a bookmaking awl I had, and did a double running stitch for the baldric loop on the back piece, then whipstitched around the outside halves after first Gorilla Glue-ing them down & together to the plastic hardware.

[The finished back with a loop for the baldric to run through. The loop had to be long for a solid mount of the "T" on one's back, otherwise it might twist and the clamp wouldn't release when one needed it to.]

[The front side with warhammer in place.]

Making a pattern of the finished tube clamp, I cut a sheet of adhesive backed black felt to cover it (see above and the third photo in this post for detail) and protect the hammer from scratches, then added one thin strip of adhesive backed foam rubber for extra grip on the four top insides of the clamp to prevent slippage while in states of excessive motion (i.e. jogging, running, rappelling, or horseback).

[With baldric belt running through the back.]

Sometimes in older issues of Marvel's Thor, we see him with the hammer's handle peeking out over his shoulder, but we never get to see the scabbard-like hardware as the head's always under the red cape, so the artist never actually had to present a working solution like this one.

[View from the front with accessible handle over the shoulder.]

[The last thing you might see before getting sent to Hel.]

I'm no engineer, so this project was challenging for me. I'd get super angry when things didn't come together the first time, as I'd spent alot of time thinking and re-thinking possibilities, trolling hardware store aisles, considering so many materials, looking at textiles, weighing the idea of maybe using rivets or grommets, and playing with the options over & over in my head, yet still buying things that didn't work or I didn't need. It wasn't like writing where the tools & words are superfamiliar and it feels like play at times -- this was strange & rather like work.

I felt maybe this was a small taste of what Sindri & Brokkr felt when making Mjölnir, the vision of knowing what you want to make but putting in all the effort into figuring out exactly how to make it as the horsefly of doubt & setbacks tries to break your concentration. It turned out to be three times what I thought it would be in costs & time, but it was worth persevering on until the victory of invention. I'm glad the plastic dust is out of my lungs and kitchen, and I can now carry my warhammer hands free and always at the ready.

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While a mostly happy bookstore fixture for over two decades, Guillermo Maytorena IV is currently willing to entertain your serious proposals for employment as a literary/cinema critic, goth journalist, castellan, airship pilot/crewperson, investigative mythologist, or assisting in a craft brewery. Should you be connected to any of the above or equally interesting endeavours, do contact him via LinkedIn or G+.

don't forget your warhammer.

It appears Warhammer, the Forgotten Weapon: Its History Through Examples by James Roth, is the only volume exclusively featuring this weapon, so if you've just purchased a warhammer this would be the one choice you get.



Although a slim self-published 120 pages, which, when compared to the encyclopedias one finds on swords, is spartan, the style is succinct and says just what one needs to know in a well-reasoned historical survey.


Revealing that "James Roth"'s a pseudonym, one can deduce the author's protecting his/her stated professional fencing career, but any reader must question what's the shame in exploring other avenues of melee weaponry, when variations could only strengthen and add to any fencer's toolkit. 



Also, if the author/ess is a professional fencer, one should expect more practical guidance, say blocks, parrys, stances, positions, and contingencies versus differently armed opponents.



Instead most of the examples are based on remaining artifacts and intuitive explorations of period paintings, in particular this one:

[Niccolò Mauruzi da Tolentino at the Battle of San Romano (probably c. 1438–1440), from a triptych by Paolo Uccello. Egg tempera with walnut oil and linseed oil on poplar, 182 × 320 cm, National Gallery, London.]

There's a detailed beat-by-beat breakdown of what's happening with the three knights' melee at right which backs up the clear superiority of the warhammer's ready handiness versus formidable plate and the awkwardness of the lance or sword in this situation. This deep minutia more than implies the author's acumen, but the know-how of most martial arts manuals isn't given to the reader in the fencing chapter as one might greatly anticipate. Instead the book mainly features the reasons behind the technology of the weapon's build & variants.



Citing Wikipedia and drawing from online museum and weapons' collection pictures, the book surveys the warhammer's precursors, working up to the evolution of armor, and the need for and hammer-style armour busting close quarter weapon when regular swords failed, and other arms proved too awkward. Discussing medieval & renaissance versions from Poland, Ukraine, and Germany, the reader's expertly lead through all the whys of warhammering.



The book concludes by stating "The warhammer should not be remembered through games and fantasies." Odds are however that given the current prevalence of gamer & geek cultures, it's precisely these aspects which give Roth his readership, which should be respected for deciding to do their homework by purchasing his text.



So if you've come to the battlefield hammer in hand looking for a guide with step-by-step techniques like the ninja books of the 1980s, this isn't it, but it's the only book out there and worth reading to know why you bought that bad arse hammer in the first place, and why it still fascinates us centuries later.

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While a mostly happy bookstore fixture for over two decades, Guillermo Maytorena IV is currently willing to entertain your serious proposals for employment as a literary/cinema critic, goth journalist, castellan, airship pilot/crewperson, investigative mythologist, or assisting in a craft brewery. Should you be connected to any of the above or equally interesting endeavours, do contact him via LinkedIn or G+.